Agented, #amwriting, but still in the query trenches…Thank goodness for Susanna Hill’s mini writing contests that keep my mind & pencil sharp while I’m busy waiting for a book deal…sigh. A big Valentine hug of gratitude to you, Susanna, for your festive contests that keep me going!

The Rules : (taken from Susanna’s website)

Write a Valentine’s story appropriate for children (children here defined as ages 12 and under) maximum 214 words in which someone is hopefulPost your story on your blog between 12:00 AM EDT Saturday February 10th and Wednesday February 14th by 11:59 PM EDT and add your post-specific link to the list that will accompany my February 10th post.

My Entry about a pesky, but eternally hopeful, fly…

SHE’S GOT IT!

(by Katelyn Aronson, 158 words)

The most fetching flower

that he’d ever seen:

She stood out of reach, 

beyond the porch screen.

In ‘love-at-first-whiff’

with her rare perfume,

Fly thought, “I have GOT 

to get into that room!”

He buzzed round the screen,

explored inch-by-inch,

’Til finally: A hole!

He squeezed through in a cinch!

Forgetting all manners,

in great haste to meet her,

“YO! SWEETUMS!” he called

—an attempt to greet her.

“HEY HONEY! I’M HOME!”

but no answer came.

“DON’T BE SHY!” said the fly.

“JUST TELL ME YOUR NAME!”

Silence.  And so, (though 

enticed and bedazzled),

the fly’s bug-eyes bugged.

His antennae frazzled!

Why wouldn’t she answer?

Too shy or just napping?

In hope against hope,

that fly kept on yapping.

He perched on her petals,

admired her face,

then tumbled below,

to her sticky embrace.

“YOU’RE MINE, VALENTINE!”

(The fly was no genius.)

The last thing he heard?

***CHOMP!***

“My name is Venus.”

 Venus Fly Trap

Grammar note to the judges: I use the verb form of “frazzle” in this story, meaning “to wear out; to fray.”

Credit where credit is due: The story title references the song “Venus” thanks to my awesome CP Jen Bagan!)

Did You Know? A Venus Fly Trap is a carnivorous plant— a plant that traps and digests “meat” in the form of insects. It’s scientific or Latin name is Dionaea Muscipula. Dionaea is a genus of plants that contains only one species (Muscipula). This means that really, there is only one kind of Venus Fly Trap. However, humans have cultivated Venus Fly Traps with various colors and leaf forms and given them nicknames like “Red Dragon” or “Jaws.” A Venus Fly Trap is not only a set of jaws, though! As you can see in the illustration, a Venus Fly Trap also produces a stalk of lovely white flowers. Below the flowers, spiky open traps lie in wait…Those traps produce a smelly nectar that attracts insects. The insects crawl inside the traps, and trigger hairs set off a reaction: CHOMP! The insect is trapped, then digested…How’s that for a friendly flower?

20 Comments

  1. Gregory E. Bray 14 February 2018 at 0 h 54 min

    I was thinking venus fly trap from the get go. =) Very well done. Good luck!

    Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 14 February 2018 at 16 h 48 min

      Thanks for your feedback, Gregory!

      Reply
  2. Lynn Davidson 14 February 2018 at 13 h 36 min

    I admit you had me fooled – very nice. 🙂 I wish you well with this story.

    Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 14 February 2018 at 16 h 48 min

      Thank you so much for reading, Lynn.

      Reply
  3. Jen Bagan 14 February 2018 at 16 h 50 min

    Hope, humor, heart and a great surprise … this entry HAS IT ALL! 🙂
    Great job! Good luck to you, my friend!

    Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 14 February 2018 at 20 h 38 min

      Jen, your approval is the highest of compliments! Thank you so much! Good luck to YOU!

      Reply
  4. Amanda Sincavage 14 February 2018 at 20 h 53 min

    What fun – a just demise for his inappropriate advances! Well done!

    Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 14 February 2018 at 21 h 13 min

      Indeed, Amanda! 😉 Thank you for taking the time to read this 😀

      Reply
  5. Charlotte Dixon 15 February 2018 at 0 h 05 min

    I’m laughing so hard-LOL Love the humor and the tension leading up that lip-smacking moment 🙂 Well done! Good luck, Kate!

    Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 15 February 2018 at 7 h 07 min

      Honored this made you LOL, Charlotte!:D Thanks for reading!

      Reply
  6. Gabi Snyder 15 February 2018 at 6 h 13 min

    A hahaha — what a fantastic ending! Great job and good luck!

    Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 15 February 2018 at 7 h 02 min

      Heehee, thanks Gabi for dropping by 😉

      Reply
  7. Maria Marshall 15 February 2018 at 7 h 08 min

    The fly had it coming! If not Venus, I was pretty sure it was a carnivorous plant. Nicely done, just enough suspense up to an awesome ending. Best of luck.

    Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 15 February 2018 at 7 h 14 min

      He DID have it coming! Thank you, Maria! On my way over to read your entry. 🙂

      Reply
  8. Angie Hawkins 15 February 2018 at 16 h 44 min

    Terrific surprise ending! Good luck in the contest!

    Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 15 February 2018 at 17 h 45 min

      Hi Angie, thanks! I so appreciate your visit! P.S. I like the name of your blog–will go check it out 🙂

      Reply
  9. Traci Bold 15 February 2018 at 22 h 44 min

    This is fantastic Katelyn! Love the perfect ending. I can see this turned into a PB for sure and a hit with the kids.

    Don’t look for a story on my page as I am just getting over Influenza A and had no ambition to write.

    Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 15 February 2018 at 22 h 58 min

      Aw, Traci, that means so much =). Thanks for dropping in and commenting! I’m sorry to hear you’ve been sick :(. I hope you participate in Vivian’s contest coming up soon!

      Reply
    1. Kate - Site Author 16 February 2018 at 20 h 26 min

      So very kind of you, Hilary, to read and comment. Many thanks! 🙂

      Reply

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